


Hold me

by dancey94



Series: Stucky's Endgame [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bromance, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Kissing, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:12:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancey94/pseuds/dancey94
Summary: Steve returned the stones and reemerged back. After all the years spent fighting and hiding and running, he desires to try a different life. Bucky wishes to be a part of that life.





	Hold me

“You know, in all the years I’ve known you, I’d never have imagined you with a hair bun.”

Bucky smirked at the comment and clinked his glass against Steve’s.

“That’s the first thing you wanted to tell him?” Sam chipped in. “After everything, all the shit we’ve been through, after _five_ years, for God’s sake, _that’s_ the first thing?”

Bucky burst out in laughter but in the corner of his eyes he saw Steve’s longing stare. It was no joke, no mocking remark. As Bucky sipped his beer, he returned the look. With a smile, Steve shyly hung his head.

The bravest man Bucky had ever met was now a glance away from blushing!

“Get a room already. You deserve it,” Sam concluded as he finished his drink.

Bucky punched him not-so-lightly on the arm with his metal fist but didn’t dare to look at him.

“Okay, guys, if it’s going to be like that with you tonight, I’m out. And seriously – go get a room.” Sam put a few dollar bills on the table and left, not once looking back.

“I hate this guy,” Bucky said with his eyes stuck to the glass in his hand.

“I noticed.” There, the longing look moved aside, leaving the place for something more profound.

“But I trust him.”

“I do, too.” Now it was Steve whose eyes were solely focused on the drink at hand.

“So what’s bugging you?”

With serious, solemn gaze Steve turned to Bucky. Obviously, there was a lot on his mind. How had he born all the years without his closest friend to support him? How had he managed to adapt to this new world he found himself in?

“I guess there’s a decision hanging over my head and I can’t bring myself to make it.”

Yes. There is was. The decision Bucky understood at its core but couldn’t really make sense of yet. He wondered how Steve imagined his life without the shield. What was ahead of him? Was there anything he wished to do or be, something that kept that decision coming back to him?

And then there was the issue of the Winter Soldier. What did the future have in store for the blemished soldier? Was there any chance there was a place for him in Steve’s path? Once the title of Captain America was passed on to Sam, there seemed to be no need for the Cap/Bucky friendly duo. Did Steve expect him to continue his missions with Falcon – an adequate but not ideal replacement?

“What causes your hesitation?” Bucky asked.

“You.” Simple as that.

Bucky finished his drink before he replied. “I have no problem working with Sam.”

Steve frowned. “How did you–?”

“Oh, come on. I could never be the next Captain America. No matter how much you…how profound our friendship is, you couldn’t afford to pass me the shield. I’m not…worthy.” The last sentence was uttered with a genuine smile. Even Steve appeared to get the joke.

“Buck.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want it.” Bucky placed a hand over Steve’s as he spoke. “I don’t want that burden, anyway. It was yours from the start and Sam is a good successor if you ask me.”

“I am asking you…a different question, though.” Steve stared at the warm hand resting on his. That’s when Bucky realized what he was doing, what he wanted to do. He moved the hand gently away, caressing Steve’s skin in the process.

“What _are_ you asking me?”

Steve’s eyes were fixed on his own hand, now so helplessly alone on the table.

“Let’s get that room.”

 

*****

 

When Steve opened the door to the cheap motel room, Bucky leaned on the frame with a grin.

“I hoped a famous world hero could afford something better.”

“Would you really rather wallow in the luxury of a five-star hotel?”

Bucky followed Steve inside but hesitated as to his next move. He dropped his bag on the floor and waited, his eyes all over the place.

“I don’t think I could fall asleep in such comfy bed.” As he spoke, Bucky felt Steve’s eyes on him. Nods of understanding followed before Steve approached the window and shut the curtains.

Bucky was about to ask if it was necessary, if they were still hiding, but he was stopped short when Steve’s arms embraced him tightly.

There were no words in any language Bucky knew that would seem appropriate at that moment. No words were necessary. There was only this warm, loving hug that expressed everything. Their longing was finally over. The fight seemed finally over. And even if it wasn’t, if there were still new threats on the horizon, they didn’t have to face them. Not unless they wanted to. But they didn’t own anything to anyone.

Bucky realized that his beard must have been rough on Steve’s smooth cheek but it didn’t matter as long as Steve wasn’t complaining. In fact, Bucky felt Steve bury his face even deeper in the crook of his neck, just as if safety nested there.

“Steve…” was all Bucky uttered, reluctant to disrupt the comfortable silence. In the shadows of the room, he felt like his affection was concealed. Again. Like he had to keep hiding, though the world was prepared for two men’s mutual fondness and devotion. Not that he cared anymore if anyone knew. He only cared about Steve.

Just as he was about to mockingly complain about his ribs hurting, he felt the embrace tighten even more. How was it at all possible? Where did Steve get the strength?

“Steve,” Bucky whispered into Steve’s gold hair that seemed lighter than the last time he’d seen it. He couldn’t resist burying his fingers into that soft hair.

Suddenly, he became self-conscious about his metal arm which could never, not in a million years, offer a warm touch in support and comfort.  
But it could offer strength and shelter. He’d already used it to shield himself and Steve in Bucharest.

“I’ve lost you so many times,” Steve said but didn’t loosen his hold of Bucky. “None more hurtful than any other. But after I got you back the first time, there always remained hope that I would get you back the next time.”

“And you did, every time. Every single time. You got me back. You have me back now, Steve. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I fear that…this is what we’ve become.”

Bucky couldn’t listen to that anymore. He moved away slightly to get a grip on his friend. He cradled his flawless face and looked him in the eyes, determined. His lips quivered as he spoke.

“This _is_ what we are. Best friends who look out for each other. We trust each other. We have each other. I…” Bucky hesitated, the words on his mind too powerful to utter. So he returned to their previous conversation. “What were you asking me, back at the bar?”

Steve’s eyes fluttered. That was a dick move – to change the subject so abruptly, to shift the weight onto Steve. But despite all the courage Bucky manifested on the battlefield, he was now scared to confess before his very best friend.

Steve placed his palms atop Bucky’s, and sighed.

“I want to pass the shield on.” Bucky nodded in acknowledgment. That one had been already established. “And when Sam becomes the next Captain America…I don’t know how to deal with that, you know. It’s the only thing I ever knew. Being a soldier. I don’t know how to live a life that doesn’t revolve around war.”

“I don’t, either,” Bucky admitted, to which Steve nodded frantically. That’s when Bucky understood. Not that he hadn’t hoped for such turn of events but now he was almost certain.

“Which is why I was wondering if you’d…want to find out what’s next for us, together. I’m not necessarily talking about–”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted, “are you sure about this?” His eyes fell onto Steve’s lips as if he was going to read the answer rather than hear it. He was happy to see a smile ghosting on Steve’s face.

“I’m positive. Once Sam takes over, I want to try a different life.”

Bucky’s eyes met Steve’s in a loving exchange. “Then that’s what we’re gonna do.”

“There’s something else I wanna do,” Steve said.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Steve replied by taking Bucky’s hands off his face and entwining them together in front of him. Then he shifted his head slightly and gently kissed Bucky’s right hand, not for a second breaking eye contact. That simple gesture made Bucky’s heart melt. His radiant smile was easy to see even in the shadows of the room.

Then, Steve leant in, so very close to Bucky’s ear, and said, “I want to hold you.”

Upon hearing the words, Bucky disentangled their hands, grabbed Steve’s wrists and placed them on his waist. Then, he snaked his own arms around Steve, pulling the man close. “So hold me.”

This time the hug didn’t feel enforced by fear of losing a friend. This time Steve’s hands wandered over Bucky’s back, caressing him along the spine covered by a thick jacket. That touch he could feel, though barely, was what made Bucky want to lose his clothes. But he wouldn’t dare to suggest anything, not yet. For now, he was just enjoying the little moment of intimacy.

“Buck…I’m so tired…”

“I know.” What else could he say? “You’ve done enough, Steve. You did more than enough. You deserve a rest.”

“Yeah. So do you.”

Bucky felt Steve’s hands wander higher up and then suddenly his hair fell down to his shoulders. His bun had been ruined. But that didn’t matter because Steve’s hand was now buried in his hair, gently pulling on it as if to check the length.

“It suits you,” was the only remark before Steve pulled away and moved his hand to slide over Bucky’s beard. “It suits you, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it gonna be a problem?”

Bucky observed as Steve’s eyes narrowed in confusion and then softened as the realization sank in.

“I don’t know.”

It wasn’t a satisfactory reply and Bucky was eager to let Steve find out the real answer to his question.

“So kiss me, you punk.”

The wide smile on Steve’s face made Bucky feel like a teenager again. Here they were, the closest they’d been since their reunion in Wakanda, minus all the curious eyes.

Here they were, in a cheap motel room, like two fugitives.

But none of that mattered because they were together again. And there was no imminent threat on the horizon.

Bucky saw a brief hesitation in Steve’s eyes before Steve leant in and pressed his lips against Bucky’s bearded cheek in a soft kiss. Soon, Bucky felt a hot sting in the spot where Steve’s lips had touched him, the absence of those warm lips crushing. At the same time, however, he felt a creased, wrinkled forehead leaning against his. So they remained conjoined. And Bucky felt Steve’s warm breath on his face.

Not a moment later did Steve’s hands land on Bucky’s shoulders as Steve connected their lips in a kiss.

Their fates had been linked since they were kids. It seemed they had been bound to lose and find each other and now that trying journey appeared to have come to an end.

Bucky wondered if his beard tickled Steve. God, he wished it did.

A minute break in contact, a shift in position, and Steve’s lips were back on Bucky’s. This time Bucky placed his palms on Steve’s chest as he parted his lips, allowing Steve more access. In a second, they were full on making out, with their eyes closed and their breath getting shallow.

Bucky’s hands wandered beneath Steve’s jacket over his shoulders and pushed the fabric until it slid, releasing Steve from a piece of clothing.

“Buck…”

“Shh…” Bucky kept kissing Steve as he removed his own jacket and let it fall on the floor. Then he took a step forward, forcing Steve to move back. Another step forward, another step back, until Steve’s legs hit the bed. In a moment of surprise, Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and Bucky didn’t lose any time settling his knees on both sides of Steve’s thighs.

He went on to kiss the corner of Steve’s mouth, his cheek, his jaw. As he was close to Steve’s ear, Bucky whispered, “Hold me.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky and hugged him tightly. Bucky’s head rested on Steve’s shoulder, his fingers pulling on Steve’s hair.

They were safe.

Swiftly, Steve turned and laid Bucky down on the bed. With Steve above him, Bucky felt the heat rising, his cheeks blushing furiously, his lips parted. It was all an invitation.

Steve lowered himself, resting his body against Bucky’s, their chests pressed together, as he kissed Bucky again. And again. And again. Until Bucky hooked his leg around Steve’s calf. That’s when he felt they were both aroused.

Steve collapsed beside Bucky. Both their breathing was labored, shallow.

“That was…” Steve panted.

“…late,” Bucky concluded, making Steve laugh. Oh, yes, Steve was definitely the world’s leading authority on waiting too long.

“Better late than never?”

“No way I’d accept _that_ alternative.”

Bucky felt Steve shift on the bed and when he looked at his friend there he was, staring back at him. He placed his palm on Steve’s cheek, hoping to memorize every inch. He caressed Steve’s skin like it was made of porcelain. They were both strong, unbreakable heroes and yet to each other they were made of the most fragile elements.

Not breaking eye contact, Steve leant into the touch and then kissed Bucky’s warm palm.

After a brief moment, they put their arms around each other, their foreheads connected again, and simply breathed. They really were tired. Of fighting, of running, of hiding.

Finally, after all those years, they were able to fall asleep more or less peacefully, with the brightness of the new day in mind.


End file.
